The Greatest thing in Market Research since the Abacus.Natural Products Industry Predict-O-Meter ®Barnum Industries Announces the Greatest thing in Market Research since the Abacus.Natural Products Industry Predict-O-Meter ®
Based On Sound Research Methods Including:
–Years Of Natural Products Retail Experience
–GFS (Granola Feng-Shui)Package Review
–OM Analysis (Our Mood At The Time Of Review)
–Our Opinion(s)On The Parent Company, Their Brand Managers, Sales Reps, Brokers and Spouses. Hey it’s a small industry!
Why spend millions on market research data and analysis to determine the likelihood of success or failure in the Natural Products Industry?
Now there’s a cheaper and faster solution.
The Predict-O-Meter ®
Utilizing state of the art subjective standards coupled with a profound and knowledge of the natural products industry, combined with the invaluable life lessons gained from watching countless less talented individuals grow rich, our team can produce a predictive summary for success or failure same day!
No more waiting for tiresome ‘analysis’ and ‘number crunching’, only to receive a PowerPoint deck with cryptic charts and graphs full of dots, arrows, grids and parabolic curves.
The Natural Products Industry Predict-O-Meter (NPIPOM) spells O-U-T all you need to K-N-O-W in quick verbal bullets without jargon, marketing hooplah or words that make it hard to stay awake. Our highly accurate* predictions are emailed to you in as little as 1 hour from the time we receive your marketing materials, product packaging, and cash payment of $250.
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* Actual prediction accuracy rate of +/- 80% is subject to change depending on market conditions, interest rates, Alan Greenspan’s sex life, the amount of caffeine in our bloodstream at time of prediction, and the relative success or failure of the date we went on the previous evening and whether the mortgage we applied for was turned down.